The Art & Power of Conversation

St. Luke's Chapel, Grambling, La.

So today we talk about talk. Each one of today’s lessons tells us something about the art and power of talk.

And it’s timely. Today’s society seems addicted to talk. We tweet. We post status updates on Facebook and other social media. Our news media provide talking heads 24/7.

Talk, talk, talk. And so often, it seems that, rather than talking with each other, conversing, if you will, we are screaming past each other.

I no longer try to have serious discussion of important topics on Facebook. Too often have I witnessed such talk turn into ugly, personal attacks. These exchanges are more like drive by shootings than conversations, or even arguments—which can be totally civil and useful when done well.

So what does each of our lessons tell us today about the art and power of talk?

First, the story of Joseph and his brothers from Genesis tells us about a relationship between talk and reconciliation. Look again at two key sentences in this passage.

Verse 3b: But his brothers could not answer him, so dismayed were they at his presence. And the last verse: And he kissed all his brothers and wept upon them; and after that his brothers talked with him.

What happens between these verses? What makes it possible for Joseph’s brothers to talk with him?  Love and forgiveness! Specifically, the one who is wronged reaches out to the wrong-doers. The betrayed reaches out in love and forgiveness to the betrayers.

It is noteworthy that Joseph’s brothers do not ask for love or forgiveness. At Joseph’s self-revelation, they huddle in embarrassment and fear. Joseph tells them how God has redeemed what began as a betrayal. Joseph beckons them closer. Joseph falls upon their necks and kisses them.

And then they talk. Conversation and reconciliation go hand in hand.

Turning to Romans, Paul is drawing attention to cultural and social difference. He clearly identifies himself as an Israelite, and then says, ‘But here I am talking with you Gentiles.’

Now, our immediate response might be, ‘Don’t keep talking about difference. Why do you draw attention to difference? That just exacerbates the problems!’

Indeed, I have heard people say this. These are the folks whose answer to racism is to pretend that race doesn’t exist or matter, and whose answer to socio-economic divisions in our society is to insist that everyone is middle class.

Nonsense, says Paul. In fact, he says, I’m willing to brag a bit about my ministry of reconciliation with you, the Gentiles, because through it I show that God’s reconciling love is available, not only to my own people but to the entire world.

In other words, it matters who we talk to, and when we talk across the social and cultural boundaries that typically divide, we are enacting God’s reconciliation in an especially powerful way.

I have probably mentioned to you before that I participate in a broad-based coalition of institutions called Northern & Central Louisiana Interfaith. For the past year to two years, Interfaith has met with elected officials, both locally and during the legislative session in Baton Rouge, and has conducted meetings and civic academies around the issues of how low income people fall into the debt trap through payday lending practices; how sentencing policies have led Louisiana to have the highest incarceration rate in the world; and how declining state support for higher education has decimated our schools and contributes to incarceration and economic decline statewide.

Those are the issues we have been working on, but even more important is our method, which is to purposefully and systematically cross the boundaries of difference that typically divide. I was at a meeting Friday afternoon in which the first item on our agenda was to find a black male leader to co-chair an upcoming meeting with a white woman.

We NEVER have one person chair a meeting, and the co-chairs of our meetings ALWAYS cross the boundary of race: one black, one white, and whenever possible, one male and one female. And we carry that principle throughout everything we do. 

Interfaith takes this message from Paul very seriously. We talk with each other across boundaries of race, religion, social class, and politics in order to demonstrate the reconciling power of the love of God and make our communities better places for everyone to live.

And now, finally, the Gospel passage. What do we make of the very un-Jesusy behavior of Jesus himself when approached by the Canaanite woman? I mean, first he ignores her. When she persists, he tells her she is no better than a dog! And that he is not going to stoop to minister to her! 

Holy smokes, Jesus! What are we supposed to do with this?

Some biblical scholars interpret this story as Jesus just testing her and pushing her to become bold in demanding his attention. I disagree. I think that neutralizes the power of the story.

We say we believe that Jesus was fully human, as well as divine. And if Jesus was fully human, than perhaps this is a very powerful story of Jesus learning and discovering who he fully is as the reconciling love of God incarnate through the art and power of conversation over boundaries of difference. 

Consider this: He was male and she was female, and the two were definitely not equal in Jesus’ day. He was Jew, she was Gentile, a Canaanite, despised by the Jews of Jesus’ day. They were enemies.

Nothing about who he was and nothing about who she was would lead anyone then or now to think that they should, or even could, converse with one another. But they did.

And humility is the ingredient that made conversation possible. She could have stormed off in fury, called him names. But she persisted--with humility. He could have gotten angry at challenge to his view of the world. But he listened--with humility. 

Humility makes it possible to consider that one is wrong. Or not yet fully right. Or simply uninformed about another's point of view. How different would our politics, our policy debates, our talk-talk-talk be... if we spoke with humility?

Humility, my friends, is key to the art and power of conversation, through which the reconciling love of God can heal us, our communities and the nations of the world.

AMEN